Legal Services Available from Jon D. Lydell Mediation & Law Offices

Divorce and Legal Separation

No matter how you got to this point of reading this page, one thing for sure is that you have had a great deal of emotional pain. This is always a tough decision, and one that will impact you and your family for the rest of your life. I am sorry that you are at a point in your life where you are having to read this sort of stuff. My goal is to serve you well, and help you through what will be a tough period in your life. California has process that must be followed in order to get a Judgment of Dissolution or Judgment of Legal Separation. Both of them will involve disclosing all of your assets and debts, income and living expenses, setting up a parenting schedule and custody, determining temporary and permanent child support; temporary and permanent spousal support, dividing assets and awarding debts. As might be expected there can be nuanced and sophisticated elements to each of those. It is critical for most people to get knowledgeable advice in all of these areas in trying to get a resolution in these areas.

Four Different Processes:

There are different processes that people can go through in resolving these issues.  One way is to simply try to do it yourself. Nolo Press has a number of good books on these topics.  This presumes that you can spend the time to read these books, digest that material, and know when you need to ask an attorney to fill in the blanks. It will become markedly more difficult to do this yourself if there is a high level of conflict between you and your spouse.  

Another way is to hire the services of a mediator.  This is usually a lawyer, but that person will act as a neutral, not representing either one of you. This can be an excellent way to manuever through the system if you and your spouse are able to communicate fairly well, there is low conflict, and both parties are willing to easily share all information, including financial information.   However, where there is an imbalance of power between the parties, or there is high conflict, or one side wants to hide information, this will be more difficult, and you will be relying much more on the mediator to control the process and try to keep the process balanced between the parties.   Where there is domestic violence, and/or high conflict, mediation will likely not be the best process.

 A newer procedure is called “Collaborative Law.”  This is where both parties hire there own lawyers, and the attorneys and the parties commit to staying out of court and working out a resolution by agreement.  Most of the models of Collaborative Divorce presume that both parties will have their own lawyer, as well as a counselor, and a divorce ‘coach’; and perhaps their own financial advisor as well.   While this can give you the best of all possible worlds, with each party having abundant advice, and staying out of the courts, it can be expensive. There is no doubt that it is cheaper than full blown litigation, it still may be beyond the reach of most people’s budgets.

The procedure chosen by most people is to hire an attorney, and hope that that attorney will represent them well while trying to  negotiate a settlement or go to court.   As might be expected it is critical to have an attorney that you connect with well, that you feel comfortable with, who is skilled at negotiations and will seek settlement before litigation, but who is not afraid to be before a judge.

What is the difference between Legal Separation and Divorce:

The truth is, there is not a great deal of difference.  Every issue that needs to be resolved in a divorce (child issues, support issues, property and debt division) needs to be resolved in a legal separation.  The only real difference is that when you get a Judgment of Legal Separation, you are still married.   

Most people that I see that seek a Legal Separation do so because they are not sure if they want to get a divorce, or they want to not be the one who is asking for a divorce.  After several months, just about every case results in either a reconcilation, or the case is changed to a dissolution. There are some rare cases where parties choose a legal separation because of medical insurance issues or other reasons.  A consultation will allow you to explore which option is right for you.